- You have no life and can prove it mathematically.
- You can remember 7 passwords, but not your anniversary.
- Dilbert is your hero.
- You have "Dilbert” comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
- You assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
- When you agree with someone, instead of saying "Yeah" or "Okay", you say "Obviously" or "Clearly."
- "Big O" has a totally different meaning to you.
- If you have ever seen a second order nonhomogenous differential equation.
- If you know more geometric formulas than you have friends.
- If you flash the right hand rule like it is your gang sign.
- If you are most productive between 12 and 3 am.
- If you know constants, conversions and orders of magnitude better than you know addition and subtraction.
- The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
- All your sentences begin with “What if”.
- At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burned-out bulb in the string.
- To you "couples" and "moments" have nothing to do with love.
- You use Greek lettersjust as often as English.
- People groan at the party when you pick out the music.
- The blinking 12:00 on someone’s VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
- You know what a tractor beam is.
- You can name at least six Star Trek episodes.
- You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
- You ever forgot to get a haircut … for 6 months.
- You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage handling equipment.
- You have ever owned a calculator with no equals key and know what RPN stands for.
- You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
- You have memorized the Discovery Channel programming schedule, but have seen most of the shows already.
- You know how to take the cover off your computer, and what size screwdriver to use.
- You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
- You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kid’s toys.
- You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
- You think your computer looks better without the cover.
- You thought the contraption ET used to phone home was stupid.
- You walk around with your hands in your two front pockets 99% of the time.
- You wear black shoes with white socks (or vice versa).
|Black shoes with white socks: cool or fashion faux pas?|
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- You window shop at Radio Shack.
- You’ve already calculated how much you make per second.
- You’ve ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
- Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.
- The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
- You are always late to meetings.
- You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.
- You bought your spouse a new CD ROM for his/her birthday.
- You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.
- You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
- You see a good design and still have to change it.
- You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
- You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
- You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
- You're in the back seat of your car, everyone else is looking at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.
- You know what the geosynchronous satellite function is.
- If you didn't know what geosynchronous satellite function is, now you really want to know.
- You're actually curious enough about geosynchronous satellite function to click here and read about it.
- Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
- Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300 MHz Pentium.
- You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force".
- You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
- It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
- You have a pet named after a scientist.
- You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
- You can't remember what's behind the door in the engineering building which says "Exit".
- You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
- You are completely addicted to caffeine.
- You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
- You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
- You have never backed up your hard drive.
- Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
- You have half-broken objects in your house that you refuse to throw away with the hope that you can someday fix them.
- You spend time looking at household products trying to devise a method for improvement.
- You actually buy technical books.
- You think that your way is the best way to do everything and constantly challenge ideas.
- You solder tools together to form new objects.
- You prefer eating dinner from cans that have the pop top on them.
- You like to point out faults in movies regarding machines.
- You know "natural frequency" has nothing to do with bowel movements.
- You tell people that time travel is impossible.
- After you tell people that time travel is impossible, minutes later you think of how you would build a time machine.
- You get angry when people won't let you fix things they've broken.
- You tried to build Transformer toys out of legos as a kid.
- You tried to invent various lego contraptions in the hope of making money when you were a kid.
- You consider a databook "good reading" when you're on the toilet.
- You have a watch or clock that automatically synchronizes itself, and/or you have a bookmark on your browser pointing to the atomic clock.
- You’ve named a computer.
- Your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
- You reason that a wireless LAN is a toy your kid would enjoy.
- You inform people during Star Wars, that the ships in should all be silent in space. You have to...you just can't let a thing like that slide.
- You own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are.
- You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
- You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week.
- You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers.
- People hound you for pocket protectors, safety goggles, and lab coats at Halloween.
- You always have to explain things by drawing it out on paper or a napkin.
- You recognize the importance of exercising your circuit breakers--and do it on the day the time changes because the clocks will be messed up anyway.
- You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
- You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
- You are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment.
- You have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
- You rooted for HAL.
- You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends" but forget to send your father a birthday card.
- You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.
- You think T-shirt and jeans are formal dress.
- You speak in acronyms.
- You have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words.
- You can prove that, according to Heisenberg, your work or homework could be anywhere in the world!
- You know the second law of thermodynamics but not your shirt size.
- You make four sets of drawings and seven revisions before
making a bird bathbuilding a deck in your back yard.
- You carry spare AAA batteries in your briefcase or purse.
- Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
- Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
- You think the value of a book is directly proportional to the amount of tables, charts and graphs it contains.
- Your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
- You explain how surface tension works when your 10-year-old asks why you are adding oil to boiling spaghetti.
- You have a clock with inverted numbers that runs counter-clockwise in your office and you prefer it that way.
- You have ever thought about how coffee changes color in the body.
- You try to explain entropy to strangers at your table during casual dinner conversation.
- You read this page for the first time on a Saturday night.
- You own "Official Star Trek" anything.
- You ever burned something down with your Science Fair project.
- You watch reruns of X-Files.
- You not only know the names of the astronauts but the exact date and time of the first lunar landing (3:17 PM CDT, July 20, 1969).
- You use engineering paper for everyday correspondence.
- Someone comments on the "mirage" effect in the desert as a reflection of water you must correct them since it is actually refraction of light.
- You have a favorite brand of mechanical pencil.
- You carry spare lead for your mechanical pencil.
- Spilling coffee while on the phone is such a common occurrence for you that you don't even miss a beat in your conversation as you scramble to move things aside and dab at the papers on your desk.
- You consistantly flip the TV to the NASA channel so not to miss a broadcast and what the heck, the NASA logo adds a certain ambience to your decor.
- Your favorite actor is R2D2.
- Your child asks for help with a model airplane and you take over insisting that there are design flaws.
- You have any of the following personalized items: hardhat, safety goggles, calculator case or slide rule.
- You really like Geek t-shirts.
- You automatically associate the words “sexy,” “beautiful” and “new butterfly valve.”
- You stare at an orange juice container because it says concentrate.
- You've ever said, "Oh yes, it's supposed to look like that."
- You can't comprehend why everyone doesn't want to be an Engineer.
- Your spouse hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.
- You have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
- When someone asks "What's new?" you answer "C over lambda".
- When your family is expecting, you are more interested in the ultrasound equipment than the test results.
- You need a spreadsheet to figure out who owes what for lunch.
- You think in "math".
- You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
- You can assign a physical unit to every letter in the English alphabet.
- You type on your calculator using more than one finger.
- When faced with a tough partial differential equation, you start assuming everything as negligible.
- You comment to your spouse that his/her straight hair is nice and parallel.
- You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
- Your spouse keeps reassuring you that the way you dress is no reflection on him/her.
- You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver".
- You find Matlab extremely useful.
- You know calculus isn’t a high level math.
- You know the significance of the number "42".
- You never have plans for the weekend.
- You discuss math and physics at the dinner table.
- You drive a Gremlin with a "Beam me up Scotty" bumper sticker.
- You just don't have the heart to throw away the 100-in-1 electronics kit you got for your 9th birthday.
- You talk about the high resolution and picture-in-picture capability of your big screen TV while everybody is watching the Superbowl.
- You love Dr. Who and know the history of the Daleks.
- Politically correct people call you "organizationally challenged".
- Your favorite place in San Francisco is the Exploratorium.
- You enjoy pointing out that at the end of "The Wizard of Oz", after the scarecrow gets his brain, he shows it off by spouting a nonsensical, incorrect fact about isosceles triangles.
- You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked so you buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered, self-adjusting picture frame while often stating aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a total moron.
- You know Avogadro's number.
- Your favorite television show is NOVA.
- Your idea of a "good read" is the Edmund Scientific catalog.
- You just spent an inordinate amount of time exploring this list.
Earth to Omar
The EE Compendium
Engineer Identification Test
The Power to PassProgressive.org
What I've liked to have said
The Power to PassProgressive.org
What I've liked to have said